the truth is
...i really i really miss my roommates...i miss the way it use to be...i miss the way it was easy to be happy b/c i didn't have to have people telling me to smile b/c i just did b/c my roommates were around. not to say all these other people don't make me smile. they do but it's just not the same.

and i am sorry for it.
i wish it could be the same.
but it's not.
and i am not wishing for it to go back to way it was.
i am just wishing to smile easily again.
to be with someone who makes me smile easily like my roommates did.
bitties were okay last year, b/c i had eiza and abbz...but now it just doesn't seem like enough. they're not enough. it's not enough.
i need more out of a guy now. and yet i am too afraid to trust the other kind. lol. too afraid to trust myself. why has my life become so scarred. why am i even bugging? why is it about a boy? and why is it so hard? why couldn't it be simple?

i miss them.
this weekend was refreshing, but now i just want to cry.
b/c i am empty all over again.
i am all alone and i wanna go home.