| i swear |
[Aug. 5th, 2007|06:06 am] |
with the way my life goes.
i swear someone really secretly hates me and has a voodoo doll with my name on it.
gah. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 30th, 2007|12:34 am] |
i really need you now.
and i wouln't say it if i didn't mean it. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 19th, 2007|10:19 pm] |
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i am so depressed it's sad. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 19th, 2007|04:48 am] |
hmm...
writing a paper.
having a horrible week.
and when i mean horrible,
i don't just mean rainy days, forgot your homework week.
i feel like someone literally is tugging at my heart.
i need someone to save me.
i really need someone to understand.
p.s. ray i know you are the only that reads this and maybe by the time you've read this i would've told you what happen to me today. (and you prolly wouldn't be too happy)
but sadly i wish someone could understand me more.
to understand why i feel like shiet. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 23rd, 2007|09:51 pm] |
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do I really want to understand? |
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| i am done... |
[Dec. 12th, 2006|08:47 pm] |
i am finished...being lovestruck. fuck that. hah.
back to being coldhearted.
shut up ray. this past month that was me being nice.
or maybe you like the coldhearted me bc ur THE ONLY ONE IN MY COLD HEART! |
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| hmm... |
[Oct. 18th, 2006|11:56 pm] |
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beat...beat...beat. |
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| the truth is |
[Oct. 15th, 2006|01:32 pm] |
...i really i really miss my roommates...i miss the way it use to be...i miss the way it was easy to be happy b/c i didn't have to have people telling me to smile b/c i just did b/c my roommates were around. not to say all these other people don't make me smile. they do but it's just not the same.
and i am sorry for it.
i wish it could be the same.
but it's not.
and i am not wishing for it to go back to way it was.
i am just wishing to smile easily again.
to be with someone who makes me smile easily like my roommates did.
bitties were okay last year, b/c i had eiza and abbz...but now it just doesn't seem like enough. they're not enough. it's not enough.
i need more out of a guy now. and yet i am too afraid to trust the other kind. lol. too afraid to trust myself. why has my life become so scarred. why am i even bugging? why is it about a boy? and why is it so hard? why couldn't it be simple?
i miss them.
this weekend was refreshing, but now i just want to cry.
b/c i am empty all over again.
i am all alone and i wanna go home. |
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| broken. |
[Sep. 17th, 2006|11:51 pm] |
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hurting... |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 19th, 2006|12:09 am] |
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secrets, anxiety. fuck everyone. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 1st, 2006|08:18 pm] |
i am making it more complicated than it really is...
what is wrong with me!?!
i need space.
sorry. |
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| i shut people out... |
[Jul. 29th, 2006|01:10 am] |
b/c thats how i deal...
i am not alright. but i really don't care. |
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| no one is listening again... |
[Jul. 13th, 2006|06:12 pm] |
but it's okay...
sometimes in life...i feel like i ask for too much...and really i don't want to...
i just want to be happy and all this materialistic stuff it all doesn't matter to me.
it doesn't.
and the stuff i ask for.
it seems like so much sometimes to me.
and i ask for it and i feel bad for it.
why do i feel bad for it?
why do i feel like i need a shrink?
mom, dad...why did you screw me up so badly? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 17th, 2006|02:44 pm] |
i am tired...
i just want someone to save me...from myself. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 16th, 2006|10:59 pm] |
they took my life away from me.
and the worst part is i let them.
how am i still a person? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 16th, 2006|06:31 pm] |
where the hell was everyone when I needed them most.
hopefully, i am dead by the time one you reads this.
i am just tired of being miserable...and everything just seems to get worse and worse.
God, you've done me wrong this time...fuck you. |
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| so tired. |
[Jun. 16th, 2006|12:09 am] |
misery once again consumes me...
...and i don't want to talk about it.
gone for the weekend. |
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